Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
