none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
