maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
