Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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