She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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