How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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