My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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