I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
