You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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