if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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