Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
