one two three fourrrrnication!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
