There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
