This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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