Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
