i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
