So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
