Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
