Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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