You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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