the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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