OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
