Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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