Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
