i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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