.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
