youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
