Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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