my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
