I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
