we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
