where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
