there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
