he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
