Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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