just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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