is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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