yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
