Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
