There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
