i think my tv is drunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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