i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize