The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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