I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
