dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
