It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
