fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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