Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
