Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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