I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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