We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
