You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
