this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
