Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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