I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize