Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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