Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
