Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
