If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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