You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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