mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
